Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

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Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

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Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

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Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

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“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

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Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

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Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.