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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1757 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,919

Funny Quotes Topics

14,732

Funny Quotes Images

11,919

2 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Just landed via Reddit:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Going viral on Slack:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Trending via WeChat:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Spotted on Threads:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Making waves on Facebook:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

6 months ago

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic trade-in deal: out with the old emotional baggage, in with the new financial security! 💸💼 Who wouldn't want to swap ancestral woes for a bank account that doesn't have commitment issues? 😅 Here's to updating our family legacies one transaction at a time! 🔄 #UpgradeInheritance"

exchange, family, family legacy, financial, financial success, generational, generational trauma, generational wealth, growth, hello, humor, ID, irony, legacy, life, life struggle, personal, personal growth, struggle, success, trauma, wealth, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1757 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,919

Funny Quotes Topics

14,732

Funny Quotes Images

11,919

2 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Making waves on Threads:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Shared recently on Instagram:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Reported on YouTube:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Just landed via Facebook:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

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