You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.