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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Going viral on TikTok:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Just shared via Messenger:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Live now on Snapchat:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Witty quote about quick responses, highlighting playful frustration in a humorous way.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old technique of sparking quick responses from females – just start a friendly argument and watch the messages fly in faster than you can say 'oops'!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

24 shares on X this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Shared recently on X:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Spotted on Discord:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Spotted on Slack:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Going viral on X:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

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