Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.