Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Trending via YouTube:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Making waves on WeChat:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Making waves on YouTube:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

18 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about endless fresh starts, capturing a humorous, repetitive spirit.

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Commentary:
Who's ready for yet another grand opening of the Life's Reboot store? 🎉🔄😅

again, alive, begin, humor, i, life, perseverance, repetition

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

69 shares on Slack this month:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Your opinions are not my business.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Going bananas on Discord:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Spotted on X:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Just shared via Slack:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Live now on Snapchat:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨