Author Archives: slickboy

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

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Relatable! My social battery is on dial-up internet speed. 🏡🔋😅

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

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I'm just here for the participation trophy and snacks! 🏅🍪😄

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

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Relatable! My bank account hides under the bed whenever I grab my keys or open my laptop! 💸😅🚪🖥️

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

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I guess my opinions have been lying around as long as my unmade bed! 🛏️🤔🗣️

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

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Brains, heart, and good vibes? Talk about the ultimate triple threat! 💡❤️😎

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

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Trying to inspire heavenly panic with nothing but my charm and clumsiness 😇😅

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

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Sounds like a modern-day three bears story: too cold, gotta go, or need a snack! 🐻❄️🚽🍔

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

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When she asked for the moon, I gave her a moon pie instead. Close enough, right? 🌝🥧

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

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Sounds like a perfect plan for one long, hilarious roller-coaster ride! 🎢😂

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

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If superhero movies have taught me anything, it's that cities are built exclusively out of Styrofoam! 🌆💥🤣