Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Going viral on Instagram:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Spotted on Messenger:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Just landed via Reddit:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Auto-correct has me so well-trained that I almost apologized to the toaster this morning. 🍞🤦‍♂️"

auto-correct, autocorrect, autocorrect mistake, humor, i, keyboard, mistake, relationship, technology, texting, toxic, toxic relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

0

2 months ago

40, apartment, crying, empty, feminism, have it all, humor, independence, independent, nice, women
Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

0

2 months ago

compliment, compliments, humor, irony, killing, kindness, murder, pun, wordplay
It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

0

2 months ago

activity, again, awkward, awkward situation, cancelled, date, funny activity, holiday, holiday tradition, humor, i, random, restaurant, significant, significant other, situation, tell, time, tradition, where, women, year
Elect a clown, expect a circus.

0

2 months ago

circus, clown, election, expectation, humor, politics, satire
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

2 weeks ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law
People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, i, intelligence, intelligent, irony, least, myself, others, people, self, self-talk, talk, tell, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Facebook this month:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

78 shares on X this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

42 shares on Slack this month:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Just landed via TikTok:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Just landed via Slack:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Spotted on X:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Making waves on X:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Just landed via Threads:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Just shared via Threads:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨