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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Breaking via Discord:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Just shared via Reddit:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Going viral on X:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Trending via Pinterest:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Trending via Slack:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

0
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like he's on a very delicate mission and hoping it doesn't go tits up! 🤭🇬🇧😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

81 shares on Discord this month:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

37 shares on Threads this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

14 shares on Threads this month:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You lose some, you lose some more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Making waves on X:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Just shared via WeChat:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

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