Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Seen just now on Slack:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Spreading quickly via X:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Seen just now on Slack:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Breaking via WeChat:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Going bananas on X:

This email could’ve been sex.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 Who knew physics could perfectly describe your Friday mood? 🚀🕳️ #EternalSnack"

black, black hole, bro, energy, hole, humor, joke, light, nerd, nerd humor, physics, physics humor, science, science joke, suck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

4 months ago

90s, always, house, humor, interaction, memory, nostalgia, social, social interaction, stranger, strangers
Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

5 months ago

best, cat, humor, name, pet, pet name, royalty
Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

2 months ago

health, humor, joy, lead, media, mental, mental health, news, optimism, positivity, relief, security, sense, stress, stress relief, warning, watching
Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

2 months ago

angry, angry text, gambling, humor, late, nap, naps, refreshed, sleep, text, texts, timing, tired, too, wake
Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

3 months ago

going, humor, motivation, overthink, procrastination, thinking, wake, wake up
The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

2 months ago

humor, just, media, much, news, nicer, nicer place, place, positivity, turn, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Going viral on WeChat:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Seen just now on Twitch:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Shared recently on Discord:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Making waves on Instagram:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Live now on TikTok:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨