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Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Seen just now on Slack:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Spotted on Facebook:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Degrees in snackology and sunbathing 101—I'm on the honor roll! ☀️🍿😂"

career, carefree, casual, humor, motivation, never, playful, snack, snacks, sunshine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

1 month ago
confusion, definitely, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, me, over, remember, self-deprecation, spell, spelling, thoughts, trying
Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

1 month ago
communication, end, every, good, good way, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, wit
I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

1 month ago
activity, exercise, fun, game, humor, i, mat, same, thing, Twister, yoga
When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

1 month ago
accountable, communication, expectations, held, humor, i, irony, mean, relationship, wanted
Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

2 weeks ago
apart, begin, clothing, comfort, fall, falling, falling apart, favorite, humor, nothing, preparation, relatability, sweatpant, sweatpants
Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

1 month ago
beach, embarrassment, front, funny moment, humor, lifeguard, moment, moving, potato, shoutout, Speedo, swimwear

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Shared recently on X:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Making waves on Telegram:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

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Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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