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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Making waves on Slack:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just landed via Discord:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Going bananas on Threads:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Seen just now on Instagram:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Just shared via WeChat:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Just shared via Slack:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Degrees in snackology and sunbathing 101—I'm on the honor roll! ☀️🍿😂"

career, carefree, casual, humor, motivation, never, playful, snack, snacks, sunshine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

0

2 months ago

confusion, humor, i, irony, kidding, sarcasm, self-awarenes, wit
I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

0

2 months ago

communication, disturb, do not disturb, humor, i, interaction, irony, key, phone, procrastination, social, social interaction
It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

0

4 months ago

communication, Epstein, exaggeration, file, frustration, humor, lie, need
My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

0

4 months ago

anxiety, family, health, house, houses, humor, inheritance, mental, mental health, money, mood, mood swing, swing, swings
I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

0

2 months ago

arguing, awkwardness, communication, date, end, flirting, humor, i, relationship, skills, social, social skills
Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, frustration, getting, honesty, humor, own, real, reality, self, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨