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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Live now on Telegram:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Making waves on Instagram:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Trending via Discord:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Trending via WeChat:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

2 months ago

0

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, celery – the perpetual optimist's glass-half-empty snack! 💧🌿 These slim and crunchy green sticks are like nature's way of reminding us that healthy eating can sometimes feel like a chore. 🥗 But hey, at least they make a great dip vehicle! 😄 #HealthyEating #SnackStruggles

celery, comedy, depressing, food, food humor, green, humor, vegetables, wafers, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

0

2 months ago

announce, announcement, bear, cave, curiosity, fun, humor, i, just, last, last post, media, playful, post, sabbatical, social, social media, something, take, wonder
In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

0

2 months ago

being, children, disaster, evacuation, humor, men, peace, solution, think, women
“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, answer, asked, beautiful, beautiful woman, dating, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate answer, interview, job, job interview, situation, social, social situation, weakness, woman, women, workplace
Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cycle, daily, daily routine, grocery, humor, just, life, routine, shopping, store
Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

0

4 months ago

butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship
Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

0

2 months ago

excuse, fault, great, hair, humidity, looks, people, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on YouTube this month:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

95 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Trending via Discord:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Trending via Snapchat:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Spreading quickly via X:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

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