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Commentary:
"Ah, daylight savings – the sneaky scheme to make us believe we're getting more time when really we're just losing sleep! 💡⏰ Who knew selling daylight could be so profitable? 😂☀️"

daylight, daylight saving, holiday, just, made-up, saving, savings, sell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

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2 months ago

camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom
Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

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2 months ago

desire, feeling, home, humor, moment, mood, motivation, never, underestimate
My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

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2 months ago

communication, favorite, humor, leave, person, silence, voicemail, where
Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

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2 months ago

adventure, humor, misunderstanding, ride, sunset
Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

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2 months ago

accessory, fashion, gift, gift shop, humor, irony, necklace, perfect, shark, shark tooth, shop, tell, tooth, tough, want, world
You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

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2 months ago

believe, communication, distraction, doing, doing well, email, found, going, i, me, surprise, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Seen just now on Reddit:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Just landed via WeChat:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Breaking via YouTube:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Trending via WeChat:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Breaking via WeChat:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨