Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Just landed via Slack:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Trending via Threads:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Spotted on Messenger:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

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Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.
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Commentary:
Promises made after a few drinks have the same shelf life as a politician's campaign promises—zero percent reliability! 🍻🤷‍♂️✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

88 shares on Discord this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

50 shares on Instagram this month:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just landed via Telegram:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Trending via Reddit:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Shared recently on TikTok:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Trending via Reddit:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

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