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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Trending via Slack:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Trending via Threads:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love it when God gives me money.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Making waves on Instagram:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Promises made after a few drinks have the same shelf life as a politician's campaign promises—zero percent reliability! 🍻🤷‍♂️✨

anything, commitment, drunk, equivalent, exaggeration, giving, happen, humor, manifesto, me, politician, promise, sarcasm, unreliability

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

0

2 months ago

advice, crazy, humor, little, need, oh, reassurance, relationship, want, women
You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, getting, grocery, humor, joke, know, nostalgia, old, playlist, same, store
I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

0

4 months ago

admitting, admitting wrong, always, being, being right, break, humor, i, love, me, right, sarcasm, self-deprecating, wrong
Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

0

2 months ago

crash, fail, feel, half, hope, humor, i, incompetence, job, live, next, once, perspective, planet, remember, software, software update, someone, tech, tech fail, time, update, workplace
Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

0

2 months ago

humor, intelligence, irony, perspective, stupidity, understanding, where, wit
“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

0

2 months ago

being, budget, complaint, cost, dollars, everything, expense, frustration, getting, heat, money, temperature, tired, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Twitch this month:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Having a job ruined my life.

55 shares on Threads this month:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

85 shares on Slack this month:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨