Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Making waves on YouTube:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Spotted on WeChat:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Just shared via Facebook:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Spotted on X:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my hair's auditioning for the role of "chaotic evil" today! 🌪️🤣

bad, bad hair day, day, due, frustration, hair, humidity, humor, violence, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

0

2 months ago

doing, expectations, hate, humor, i, life, me, people, planning, procrastination, today, tomorrow, uncertainty
I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, digital, digital life, humor, i, life, media, need, number, phone, phones, privacy, social, social media, technology
People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, banana, celebration, costume, event, humor, outfit, own, people, shit, unique, wear
I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

0

3 months ago

agree, agreement, argue, argument, humor, i, just, let, observation, patience, plot, sarcasm
Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

0

2 months ago

advice, being, getting, humor, just, smart, someone, thinking, tips
I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

0

2 months ago

attitude, chill, expression, full, humor, irony, nonchalant, rage

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

16 shares on X this month:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

42 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Going viral on Twitch:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Live now on Discord:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Seen just now on Threads:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨