Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Breaking via Reddit:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Just landed via WeChat:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Just landed via Pinterest:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Just shared via Facebook:

I need a break from me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Seen just now on Twitch:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living my best "oops, I did it again" life 🤦‍♂️🎉

action, actions, consequence, consequences, enjoying, enjoyment, humor, irony

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

0

1 month ago

effort, heart, humor, i, illness, love, mental, mental illness, putting, relationship, sarcasm, soul, thought, used, where, work
The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

0

2 months ago

best, budget, humor, Japan, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit
I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

0

2 months ago

advice, attract, crush, dating, ever, humor, i, me, psychopath, relationship, self-awareness, therapist
I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

0

2 months ago

being, boss, humor, i, independence, lot, me, motivation, paid, salary, self employment, should, workplace, workplace humor
It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

0

2 months ago

always, entertainment, fun, honesty, humor, irony, know, lie, listening, truth
Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

0

2 months ago

education, everyone, fail, glasses, humor, irony, knows, perception, smart, test

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Trending via Twitch:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Going viral on Slack:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Just landed via Discord:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Making waves on Telegram:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Just shared via WeChat:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Trending via YouTube:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Live now on Discord:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨