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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Live now on Telegram:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Just shared via X:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Taco Bells ring, angels start their sprinting routine to the celestial bathroom! 🌮😇🚽

angel, bell, diarrhea, every, fast, fast food, food, gastrointestinal, humor, joke, rings, sarcasm, taco, Taco Bell, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

0

2 months ago

adventure, anticipation, brand, choice, choices, excited, excitement, full, fun, humor, life, life choice, new, new year, questionable, questionable choice, Resolutions, super, year
They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

0

2 months ago

asking, asleep, humor, irony, question, sleep, stupid, stupid question, thing, wake
You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, engagement, humor, insult, media, much, social, social media, tried
“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

0

3 months ago

computer, creation, humor, i, image, joke, ok, password, security, technology, too, weak, weak password, well
“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

0

2 months ago

disagreement, humor, individuality, mind, never, own, sarcasm, translation, wrong
You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

0

2 months ago

arrest, arrested, call, communication, humor, ig, IG story, jail, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, phone call, should, social, social media, story

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

39 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

88 shares on Slack this month:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

94 shares on X this month:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

75 shares on Discord this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Just shared via Threads:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Going bananas on X:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Trending via Messenger:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨