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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Just landed via Discord:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Trending via Messenger:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Seen just now on Threads:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Just landed via Reddit:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Just landed via Facebook:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When Taco Bells ring, angels start their sprinting routine to the celestial bathroom! 🌮😇🚽

angel, bell, diarrhea, every, fast, fast food, food, gastrointestinal, humor, joke, rings, sarcasm, taco, Taco Bell, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

46 shares on X this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Breaking via Slack:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨