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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1889 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,051

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,051

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Trending via Slack:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Trending via X:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Just shared via YouTube:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Trending via Telegram:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Just shared via Facebook:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Making waves on Discord:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1889 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,051

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,051

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Breaking via Discord:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Trending via Discord:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Going viral on Slack:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

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