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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Going viral on TikTok:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Breaking via Telegram:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Funny bloodline quotes

New funny bloodline quotes 👇

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

0

5 days ago

am, attempt, bloodline, body, body image, every, feel, fighting, gene, hot, humor, i, image, me, person, self-deprecating, step, struggle

Someone from 🇲🇺 has recently copied this quote.

46 shares on Pinterest this month.
Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

0

2 months ago

bloodline, curse, drama, emotions, fine, girls, humor, relationships, sarcasm, whole

Someone from 🇺🇸 has recently copied this quote.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny bloodline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Going bananas on X:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Just landed via Instagram:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Making waves on Threads:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just shared via Threads:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny bloodline quotes

New funny bloodline quotes 👇

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

All funny bloodline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨