Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Live now on Telegram:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Live now on Threads:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Just landed via Threads:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Funny calm down quotes

Funny calm down quotes are the perfect way to lighten the mood when stress levels skyrocket 😅✨ Whether you’re dealing with a hectic day or just need a gentle reminder to chill out, these hilarious gems will have you laughing while taking a deep breath 🌬️😂 Ready to turn that tension into giggles? Let’s dive into some witty words that say “calm down” with a side of fun! 🎉😎

New funny calm down quotes 👇

All funny calm down quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

19 shares on X this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Just landed via Threads:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Just landed via Instagram:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Spotted on Discord:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Spotted on Instagram:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Shared recently on X:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

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