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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Breaking via Facebook:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Trending via X:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Going bananas on Slack:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Just landed via Facebook:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Just shared via X:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Funny comedian quotes

Funny comedian quotes are the perfect dose of laughter medicine 😂🎤 Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or want to brighten your day, these witty gems from stand-up stars will have you chuckling in no time 🤣✨ Get ready to share some giggles and spread the joy—because who doesn’t love a clever punchline? 🎭💬 Let the hilarity begin!

New funny comedian quotes 👇

All funny comedian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

28 shares on Threads this month:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

21 shares on Twitch this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Earth is hard.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Making waves on Discord:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

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