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When did being an adult become a never-ending episode of "Survivor"? 🌞😴🤦♂️
86 Funny daily life quotes
Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.
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I completely get it! After a movie, I'm mentally preparing to save the world with a popcorn bucket and ticket stub. 🍿🎬🦸♂️
Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.
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Just another episode in the sitcom called life! Can’t wait for the season finale 😂🍿📺
And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.
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Growing older: gaining wisdom points but with a high chance of memory wipe! 🧠✨🙃
I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.
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Why not dream about a world where your biggest concern is whether your coffee is too hot or too cold? ☕️😴✨
Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.
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Navigating traffic this morning felt like I was on a quest with Frodo 🚗⛰️💍
You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?
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The only thing more satisfying than a clean room is reliving the magic with every grand re-entrance. 🧹✨🚪
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.
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Watching the daily episodes of "Stupidity Unleashed" on social media—popcorn not included! 🍿😂
The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.
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Sounds like living in a beauty pageant with constant plot twists! 👀👗🏙️
Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.
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Trying to avoid ghosts of bad WiFi past! 📱🔦😂