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Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Going bananas on Slack:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Breaking via Telegram:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Making waves on Messenger:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Seen just now on Threads:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Making waves on Discord:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Home » Funny Dating Quotes » Page 42

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

0

2 months ago

activity, catfishing, dating, humor, idiot, mat, play, Tinder
Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

0

2 months ago

date, dating, hot, hot one, humor, me, perks, relationship, self-confidence
Don’t study, get slutty!

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth
The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, confused, confusion, dating, dating advice, ever, humor, know, love, need, piece, relationship
There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

0

2 months ago

dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still
What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

0

2 months ago

babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

0

2 months ago

chance, dating, fairness, give, humor, i, irony, man, me, men, ugly, ugly man, ugly woman, unfortunately, woman
I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

0

2 months ago

attraction, change, dating, funny observation, i, interest, interested, love, man, mood, mood change, move, observation, obsession, relationship, woman, women, wrong
Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

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2 months ago

after, call, chicken, dating, digger, expectation, gold, gold digger, honey, humor, man, meal, men, pay, piece, stereotype, us, woman, yacht
I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

0

3 months ago

awkward, conversation, dating, everything, flirt, giggle, humor, i, interaction, say, shy, social, social interaction

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

40 shares on Discord this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Just shared via WeChat:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Earth is hard.

Going bananas on Threads:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Spotted on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Activity Log ✨

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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