Commentary:
Relatable trauma: my wallet and taste buds filing a joint complaint 🍽️💸😫
233 Funny eating quotes
The problem with salad is, it’s salad.
Commentary:
Salad: nature's way of reminding us that not all greens are as exciting as dollar bills 🥗💸😄
It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for a three-course cardboard meal! 🥊📦😄
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be having a lawful December feast! 🍰🎉👮♂️
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.
Commentary:
Imagine the savings on grocery bills… and napkins! 🐍🍽️ #SnakeLife
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.
Commentary:
Adulting Level: Expert 🧺🥗🚶♂️ #LivingTheDream #FlossLikeABoss 😄
Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.
Commentary:
Looks like I've found my spirit animal in a T-Rex with a buffet obsession! 🍕🦖😄
Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?
Commentary:
Just practicing my Oscar-winning performance of "Oh, for me? I couldn't possibly… okay, just one!" 😇🍪🎭
I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.
Commentary:
Turns out I've been training for the Olympics in stealth candy consumption 🍬🎬🤫
I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.
Commentary:
Spicy chicken: the real truth serum! 🔥🐔😜