57 Funny excuse quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the timeless art of procrastination! 😄 Why be early when you can make a stylish entrance, right? ⏰🕰️ Just blame it on the 'foreseen circumstances' – aka hitting the snooze button a few too many times! 🛌💤 #FashionablyLate"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ol' 'I'm not ignoring the rules, I just didn't notice you, Officer' defense 🚓😅 It's all fun and games until you get caught… and end up with a ticket souven-WHEEEE! 🚗💨"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've got a real 'fishy' excuse on our hands here 🐠 Who knew a pet fish could have such a vast family tree? Maybe it was a distant relative of Nemo! 🐟😂 #ExcuseGameStrong"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'I'm too old for that' excuse. 🙃 Embrace your inner child – it's not about age, it's about attitude! 🌟 Who says you can't be young at heart forever? 💁‍♂️💖"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it's somebody's birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion"

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