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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

4 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Just shared via Discord:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Going viral on X:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Seen just now on Discord:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Home » Funny Express Quotes

Funny express quotes

New funny express quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, trade them for a harmonica and start your own blues band! 🎶😂🍋"
2 months ago
Share →: There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Commentary:
"When life gives you a withered shamrock, make sure you're not trying to make an Irish stew out of it! 🍀➡️😭🍲💔"
6 months ago
Share →: Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Commentary:
🔘 The "elevator express" button, also known as the mythical unicorn of the modern world. Pressing it multiple times might summon a magic carpet or teleportation device…or simply annoy your fellow passengers! Choose wisely! 🌟🛒 #ElevatorMagic #PushForSpeed

For even more funny express quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny express quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

4 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Going viral on Twitch:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Spotted on X:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Trending via X:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Spotted on Twitch:

My love language is being sent money.

Just landed via YouTube:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

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