Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Just landed via Telegram:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Funny fuel quotes

Funny fuel quotes⛽️💬 are the perfect pick-me-up when your tank—or your mood—is running low! Whether you’re stuck in traffic 🚗💨 or just need a laugh to refuel your day, these witty lines fuel your spirit with humor and energy. Get ready to ignite your smile and rev up your vibes with some seriously clever and chuckle-worthy sayings! 😂🔥

New funny fuel quotes 👇

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

0

2 months ago

attire, casual, casual attire, fashion, fire, fuel, humor, humor quote
I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

0

2 months ago

coffee, fuel, humor, i, me, misanthropy, motivation, need, sarcasm
If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

0

2 months ago

bonfire, bring, campfire, expectation, fuel, guitar, humor, joke, music
The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

0

2 months ago

amount, days, energy, exhaustion, farm, fuel, humor, sigh, small, wind
Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

0

2 months ago

chaos, fire, fuel, help, here, humor, irony, just, me, mischief, sarcasm, support
It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

0

3 months ago

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack

All funny fuel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Spotted on Telegram:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Breaking via Slack:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Live now on LinkedIn:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴