39 Funny heart quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

  Commentary:
  "Exercising: when your body reacts like it's in the middle of a turf war with itself 😅🏃‍♂️💦 But hey, at least you're getting a wheeze-ercise instead of a workout, right? Keep pushing through, even if it means racing with your own heart!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal battle between the stomach and the heart – a classic dilemma! 🍬🤔 It seems the candies have indeed sparked a sweet rebellion inside you. Fear not, for sometimes a little indulgence is good for the soul… even if it leads to a sugar-induced negotiation between your organs! 😂🍭"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

  Commentary:
  "Back in my day, we captured memories with hearts, not hashtags! 💖 Who needs Insta fame when you've got a heart full of special moments, am I right? 📸 #NostalgicHeart"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

  Commentary:
  “Turn around? Oh, you mean do a 180-degree heartbreak dance under the total eclipse of the heart 🌑💔. Sometimes love takes us on a cosmic rollercoaster ride!”

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

  Commentary:
  "Can you imagine the surprise on their face? 😱 Talk about a feathered heart-stopper! 🦚💥 #peacockproblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs love when you've got cheeseburgers? 🍔❤️ At least they always come through with their deliciousness! No mixed signals, just pure beefy goodness. Cheeseburgers, the real MVPs of relationships! 😄👌"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between the heart and the jeans! 🍫🍷 vs. 🥗 Who will win this epic battle of cravings and calories? Maybe just wear stretchy pants and call it a day! 😅 #FoodieProblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Valentine's Day plans just got celebrity-crushed! 💔 Sorry, boyfriend, but sharing Salma Hayek might be a bit out of the budget. 😜 Maybe next year you can aim for someone a wee bit more attainable! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, it's cheaper to buy a new set of bones than to fix a broken heart! 💔💪 Breakups just got a whole lot more practical! #BoneStrong"

For even more funny heart quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny heart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌