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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

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3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Just landed via Threads:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Just landed via TikTok:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Live now on Twitch:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Breaking via Discord:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

35 Funny humans quotes

More funny humans quotes 👇

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

2 months ago

chairs, design, ergonomics, humans, humor, know, people, questioning, sarcasm
Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

2 months ago

conservation, cut, ecological, environment, humans, humor, irony, nature, only, paper, paradox, sarcasm, save, trees
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

2 months ago

AI, asking, automation, captcha, computers, humans, humor, joke, mankind, parody, proof, prove, robots, technology
Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

2 months ago

abduction, alien, alien abduction, board, bring, due, extraterrestrial, fee, free, humans, humor, inflation, joke, longer, own, probes, purchase, required, sci-fi, sci-fi joke, space, space humor
Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

2 months ago

bananas, caffeine, chaos, energy, going, human, humans, humor, just, meat, stress, wrapped
I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

2 months ago

Bigfoot, hiding, human, humans, humor, i, nature, right, solitude, stay, think
It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

2 months ago

bears, eat, freedom, humans, humor, irony, laws, nature, obey, us, want
I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

2 months ago

confusion, Earth, humans, humor, i, know, put, Salesforce, technology, think, unnatural
Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

2 months ago

button, convenience, humans, humor, intro, inventor, skip, skip intro, technology, understanding
I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

2 months ago

anxiety, go out, humans, humor, i, introvert, outdoors, social, social anxiety

For even more funny humans quotes, hit next 👇

All funny humans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

79 shares on Threads this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Can we skip to the rich part?

11 shares on Slack this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Trending via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Going viral on Instagram:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Just landed via Telegram:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Making waves on Slack:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Making waves on X:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Activity Log ✨

35 Funny humans quotes

More funny humans quotes 👇

All funny humans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨