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Sounds like you just unlocked the secret to achieving inner peace! 😂🤐🙏
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.
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Sending this text is like mixing both astrology and strategy into a single message—call it "ex-ceptional planning" 🤔🎂💌
The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.
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It's like group therapy, but with pointing fingers! 😂👉🫵
Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.
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Feeling "peaked" about this correction? Join the club—I thought it involved mountain climbing! 😂📚🏔️
I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.
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"With your track record, even a bicycle seems risky! 🚲😄"
Please continue to leave me out of the loop.
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Loop? More like hoop—I'm just here for the snacks! 🍿🤷♂️😆
My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.
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When someone starts acting like they're auditioning for a soap opera, it's definitely time to skip to the next channel! 🎭📺😂
The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”
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When "flight" becomes my default setting in "fight or flight" mode 😂✌️🏃♂️
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
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Cluck cluck! I'm suddenly craving some chicken nuggets 🍗🐔
Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.
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When sober, taxis are just a ride—when drunk, they're a free therapy session on wheels! 🚕🍸😂