Commentary:
🤣 I guess I’ve been channeling my inner "weird uncle" all along! 🧔🕺
5670 Funny i quotes
I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)
Commentary:
I'm trying to adult, but my inner baby keeps maxing out my snack budget! 🍩🍼💸
The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Commentary:
Trying to dodge the caffeine monster, but it keeps finding me ☕️😅🔍
I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.
Commentary:
The mysterious age saga continues! 🤔🎂 Time zones for birthdays? 😂
Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.
Commentary:
When life gives you cereal without milk, just upgrade to breakfast dessert mode 🍦🥣😂
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.
Commentary:
Oh, so they’ve got a PhD in fibbing and think I'm in preschool math? 😏📚🤔
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.
Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸
Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.
Commentary:
Weekend resolutions: 0, Couch potato: 1 🛋️🥔🎉
I remember sex. That was cool.
Commentary:
When memories of youth hit harder than my morning coffee ☕️😂🔥
All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.
Commentary:
Balancing my budget while balancing on a treadmill: multitasking level expert! 💸💪😎