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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Reported on TikTok:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Just shared via Facebook:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Making waves on WeChat:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Just shared via X:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Trending via Facebook:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Shared recently on Discord:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

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Funny intensity quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Spotted on Reddit:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just shared via Slack:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Seen just now on Slack:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

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