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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

2 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Shared recently on Discord:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Just shared via Slack:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Spotted on Instagram:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Home » Funny Intentions Quotes

Funny intentions quotes

Funny intentions quotes bring a hilarious twist to your everyday goals and plans 😄✨ Whether you meant well or just winged it, these witty sayings capture those moments when good intentions meet unexpected results 🤪💡 Ready to laugh at the chaos of trying your best? Let’s dive into some lighthearted vibes that remind us all: it’s the thought (and the joke) that counts! 😂🎉

New funny intentions quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Commentary:
Looks like karma caught up with your beer choices! 🍻🔮 Next time, make sure you only drink with pure intentions and a clear karmic slate. Cheers to good beer and better karma! 🍺✨ #KarmaBrews
6 months ago
Share →: My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Commentary:
Ah, Twitter – the magical land of 🌈unicorns and 🌟rainbows, where facts are as solid as a marshmallow and kindness flows like a river of emojis. Remember, in this enchanted realm, even the trolls have hearts of gold! ✨💖🦄 #KeepingItRealOnTwitter
6 months ago
Share →: I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Commentary:
"Setting two alarms is a great plan, unless 'The Real Me' decides to hit snooze on both! 🕰️😴 Good intentions vs. reality – the eternal battle of the morning routine! ⏰😂"

For even more funny intentions quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny intentions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

2 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Shared recently on Slack:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Making waves on Slack:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Just landed via Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Making waves on Slack:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

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