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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Shared recently on TikTok:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Live now on Reddit:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Breaking via Facebook:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Funny intentions quotes

Funny intentions quotes bring a hilarious twist to your everyday goals and plans 😄✨ Whether you meant well or just winged it, these witty sayings capture those moments when good intentions meet unexpected results 🤪💡 Ready to laugh at the chaos of trying your best? Let’s dive into some lighthearted vibes that remind us all: it’s the thought (and the joke) that counts! 😂🎉

New funny intentions quotes 👇

All funny intentions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Trending via TikTok:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Just landed via Reddit:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Going viral on Instagram:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Spotted on Telegram:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Trending via Facebook:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Just landed via Telegram:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Going viral on Twitch:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

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