Commentary:
Achieving absolute singularity: when you and your countless imaginary cats star in your love song playlist 🎶🐱😂
1681 Funny irony quotes
Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?
Commentary:
Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.
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Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜
There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.
Commentary:
Seems like we need an "UNDO" button for compliments on these folks! 😂🔄💬
What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.
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Looks like they should start investing in steel-toed boots for extra protection 🤣🥾💥
Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.
Commentary:
Attempting to shake hands with a palm tree is an ambitious endeavor! 🌴🤝🤣
‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.
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Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥
Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.
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Walking around like it's Casual Footwear Friday 👟🩳😅
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨
Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make… psychedelic lemonade? 🍄🍋✨