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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Just shared via X:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Going viral on X:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Trending via Discord:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Going viral on TikTok:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

18 Funny middle age quotes

More funny middle age quotes 👇

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

2 weeks ago

age, aging, eyesight, facial, facial hair, fuzzy, hair, humor, i, me, mean, middle, middle age, perception, self-deprecation, yes
Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

2 weeks ago

50s, age, aging, ailment, condition, health, humor, medical, medical condition, middle, middle age, mysterious, mysterious ailment, welcome
Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

3 weeks ago

30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome
Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

3 weeks ago

age, aging, dark, dark humor, dead, getting, humor, middle, middle age, mortality, oh, pessimism, sarcasm, where
Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

3 weeks ago

50s, age, aging, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, stretch, stretching, welcome, wrong
When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

3 weeks ago

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

3 weeks ago

age, aging, blurry, encounter, everything, eyesight, hearing, humor, loud, middle, middle age, too, welcome
Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

3 weeks ago

40s, age, aging, back, back pain, every, flare-up, health, humor, know, middle, middle age, never, pain, random, random pain, time, welcome

For even more funny middle age quotes, hit next 👇

All funny middle age quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

75 shares on YouTube this month:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

25 shares on Slack this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Broadcasted on X:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Live now on Pinterest:

They’re making me do work at work.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Live now on Reddit:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Live now on Instagram:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Trending via Instagram:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Making waves on WeChat:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Activity Log ✨

18 Funny middle age quotes

More funny middle age quotes 👇

All funny middle age quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨