Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,769

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Just shared via Instagram:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Live now on WeChat:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Trending via X:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Live now on Pinterest:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Just shared via Telegram:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

64 Funny mom quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

47 shares on Slack this month:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

58 shares on X this month:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, holding a grudge.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Seen just now on X:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Making waves on WeChat:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Just shared via Instagram:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Making waves on Discord:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

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