40 Funny mom quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

  Commentary:
  "Sisters: the best informants money can't buy! Let's be real, they're like undercover agents reporting back to Mom on all your shenanigans! #SisterSquadgoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

  Commentary:
  "Freud's mom must have had those 'Oedipal' vibes going on Talk about the original 'Mommy Issues'! #FreudianFantasies"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

  Commentary:
  "Well, that's one way to send a subtle message! Embrace your unique beauty, even if it requires a little extra caffeine to get through the day. "

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

  Commentary:
  Oh, moms and their unmatched ability to connect the dots in the most unexpected ways! Bringing you the latest family news from the depths of six degrees of separation! Just remember, in the maternal network, no detail is too small to share! #MomLogic

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, it seems like babies are born with a sense of fashion flair right from the start! Just imagine little newborns strutting out into the world with their moms as the latest trend in headwear. It's safe to say that being a hat has never looked cuter or more unexpected! #FashionForwardBaby

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  6 months ago

  Share →: It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Mom's upgrading from milk and cookies this year! Don't forget to check if she prefers red or white for her Santa duties tomorrow! #MotherClaus"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like being a 'sleeping beauty' doesn't impress everyone! Maybe your boss prefers a more 'awake and working hard' look instead! "

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

  Commentary:
  "Living the dream of having all the perks of being a stay-at-home mom without the messy diapers and endless tantrums! #MomGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like mom's got some trust issues now… Looks like you milked that joke a bit too far! Hope she lactates some forgiveness soon! #WhoopsMom #MamaMilkedIt #GotMomsAttention

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