Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2129 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,291

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,291

4 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Spotted on Threads:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Just shared via Discord:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Spotted on X:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Going viral on Snapchat:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Live now on X:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Home » Funny Odds Quotes

Funny odds quotes

Funny odds quotes bring a smile 😄 when life feels like a wild game of chance 🎲! Whether you’re betting on luck 🍀 or just rolling with the punches 🥊, these witty sayings turn unpredictable moments into laughs 😂. Ready to embrace the unexpected with a grin? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on beating the odds and celebrating life’s quirky surprises! 🎉✨

New funny odds quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Commentary:
"Currently balancing on the tightrope between 'What's happening in the world?' and 'I can't handle the news!' 🤹‍♂️📰🤯"
5 months ago
Share →: People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Commentary:
"Life's grand lottery: full of winners, losers, and those still waiting for their numbers to be called 🎰🎟️ But hey, at least we can always hope for a jackpot in good vibes and laughter! 💰😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Commentary:
"Trust your gut, they say. But maybe steer clear of the slot machines 🎰. Three out of five ain't bad… unless you're betting your life savings! 😂 #IntuitiveButNotLucky"
6 months ago
Share →: Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic strategy of relying on the universe to align itself perfectly to solve all your problems. 🤷‍♂️ Just sit back, sip some tea, and wait for that impossible sequence of events to sweep you off your feet. Who needs a plan when you have cosmic chaos on your side? 🌌✨ #JustTrustTheUniverse"
6 months ago
Share →: Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Commentary:
"Coconuts: the silent assassins lurking in tropical paradise 🥥🦈 Who needs Jaws when you have falling coconuts to fear? Better stick to the pool, it's safer… unless there are coconuts growing nearby! 😂🌴 #CoconutConundrum"

For even more funny odds quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny odds quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2129 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,291

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,291

4 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Spreading quickly via X:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Shared recently on Reddit:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Making waves on Reddit:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Live now on Telegram:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Going viral on Reddit:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴