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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

4,017

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Just shared via X:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Just landed via Instagram:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Spotted on X:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Funny odds quotes

Funny odds quotes bring a smile 😄 when life feels like a wild game of chance 🎲! Whether you’re betting on luck 🍀 or just rolling with the punches 🥊, these witty sayings turn unpredictable moments into laughs 😂. Ready to embrace the unexpected with a grin? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on beating the odds and celebrating life’s quirky surprises! 🎉✨

New funny odds quotes 👇

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

0

2 months ago

comedy, desire, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, irony, mental, mental health, odds, overload, sane, stress
People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, life, losers, lottery, most, odds, people, tickets
Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

0

2 months ago

casino, decision making, five, gambling, humor, intuition, luck, odds, right, statistics, three, times
Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

0

2 months ago

bro, events, fine, impossible, just, need, odds, order, perfect, play, sequence
Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

0

2 months ago

being, coconut, danger, exactly, humor, i, infested, killed, odds, shark, swim, water

All funny odds quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

58 shares on X this month:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Going bananas on X:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Spreading quickly via X:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Making waves on Threads:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Making waves on YouTube:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Just shared via Messenger:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

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