Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,854

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Going viral on Reddit:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Live now on TikTok:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Shared recently on Discord:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Live now on Slack:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Funny odds quotes

Funny odds quotes bring a smile 😄 when life feels like a wild game of chance 🎲! Whether you’re betting on luck 🍀 or just rolling with the punches 🥊, these witty sayings turn unpredictable moments into laughs 😂. Ready to embrace the unexpected with a grin? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on beating the odds and celebrating life’s quirky surprises! 🎉✨

New funny odds quotes 👇

All funny odds quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,827

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Just shared via Facebook:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Just landed via Twitch:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Shared recently on Discord:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Shared recently on Threads:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Just landed via X:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴