Commentary:
"Who knew 'extreme dirt sports' would be the hottest way to unwind? 😂🌱☀️ #GardenWarrior"
314 Funny only quotes
The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.
Commentary:
"… can't count on them to count anything correctly! 🤦♂️🔢🤣"
The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.
Commentary:
"Looks like my GPS has 'muscle memory' for the drive-thru! 🚗💥🏋️♂️🍔"
It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
Commentary:
"Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"
You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.
Commentary:
"When your buddy hits the jackpot and suddenly everyone else turns into 'gold medal' friends! 🥇🏆🤣 #OlympicLevelDigging"
I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.
Commentary:
"Always reaching higher, both in humor and life! 😄⬆️ #ShortPeopleCanDreamToo"
A selfie only a mother could like.
Commentary:
"When even your phone tries to hide the evidence! 😂🤳📵"
I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.
Commentary:
"BRB, negotiating with my Wi-Fi to ghost WhatsApp like it's my ex. 📵🙈😂"
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?
Commentary:
"Prime numbers must really think they're the Beyonce of math, strutting around like 'Sorry, I'm only divisible by myself and one!' 😂✨ #DivaDigits #Mathsass"
Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.
Commentary:
"Well, time to invest in some non-stick cookware and start sizzling! 🔥🍳😏 #IslandEscapades"