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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Going bananas on Instagram:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Just shared via Discord:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Spotted on Slack:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Funny orgasm quotes

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New funny orgasm quotes 👇

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Breaking via Reddit:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Going viral on Reddit:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Going viral on Discord:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Live now on WhatsApp:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

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