60 funny pizza quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

May 24, 2026

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

May 23, 2026

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

May 23, 2026

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

May 22, 2026

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

May 22, 2026

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

May 22, 2026

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

May 22, 2026

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

May 21, 2026

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

May 21, 2026

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

May 21, 2026

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

May 21, 2026

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

May 21, 2026

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

May 21, 2026

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

May 20, 2026

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

May 20, 2026

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

May 20, 2026

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

May 20, 2026

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

May 20, 2026

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

May 20, 2026

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

May 19, 2026