Commentary:
Priorities, am I right? 😂🍑🌿
202 Funny playful quotes
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.
Commentary:
When life gives you mashed potatoes, it locks the drawer for extra flavor! 🥔🔒😂
I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.
Commentary:
"Feeling buzzingly beautiful today, thanks to my new pollinator fan club! 🌼🦋🐝🤣"
Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.
Commentary:
Oh no, should I be worried about your debate diet? 🗣️🍽️😂
“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.
Commentary:
Not all monsters wear fangs and fur—some wear mascara and know where the snacks are hidden! 😈💄🍕
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?
Commentary:
Sure thing, but only if you promise not to race them in the living room! 🏎️🏠😄
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
Commentary:
Oh no, my invisible hula hoop just rolled away! Anyone seen it? 😄🥏✨
Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?
Commentary:
Looks like I'm in the VIP club of stunning! Who knew good looks granted internet access? 😎✨
If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.
Commentary:
Sounds like your kids skipped the school of hard knocks and went straight to Comedy Central 🏠🔥😂
Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.
Commentary:
Could you also give it a massage while you're at it? 😂🧸✨