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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Just shared via Telegram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Making waves on Instagram:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Just shared via Instagram:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

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Funny psych quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Trending via Telegram:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Breaking via TikTok:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Spotted on X:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Trending via Pinterest:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Just landed via Discord:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

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