Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,965

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Spotted on Telegram:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Live now on Discord:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Going viral on Telegram:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Spotted on Messenger:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just landed via Threads:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

44 Funny reply quotes

More funny reply quotes 👇

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, reply, response, sarcasm, think, workplace
If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, me, pale, reply, response, shocked, someone, surprise
Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

0

2 months ago

always, anytime, context, conversation, guy, humor, joke, reply, sarcasm, wit
If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, life, relationship, reply, sarcasm, whole, wit
If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, humor, keep, loyal, loyal woman, man, relationship, reply, trying, woman, women
“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

0

3 months ago

again, communication, dog, God, hear, humor, i, quick, quick reply, relationship, reply, wait, waiting
You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

0

3 months ago

able, button, communication, email, humor, like button, media, productivity, reply, replying, should, social, social media, technology
I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

0

4 months ago

communication, humor, i, message, ok, paragraphs, recommend, recommendation, reply, saying, short, short reply, texting
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

0

5 months ago

asking, communication, death, decision making, dinner, humor, just, love, marriage, question, relationship, reply, replying, spouse, us, want
“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

0

5 months ago

am, communication, excuse, humor, i, just, message, messages, never, okay, person, reply, texting, understaffed

For even more funny reply quotes, hit next 👇

All funny reply quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on TikTok this month:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

65 shares on X this month:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

85 shares on X this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

31 shares on X this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Just landed via Discord:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Breaking via X:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Trending via Pinterest:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Live now on Telegram:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Going viral on X:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Live now on Slack:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Activity Log ✨

44 Funny reply quotes

More funny reply quotes 👇

All funny reply quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨