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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Going viral on YouTube:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Just landed via Facebook:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Live now on Slack:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Just shared via Threads:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Live now on Snapchat:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Trending via Reddit:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Breaking via TikTok:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Funny scan quotes

Funny scan quotes bring a burst of laughter to those nerve-wracking moments in hospitals and clinics! 😂 Whether it’s an ultrasound, MRI, or CT scan, these witty lines turn awkward waits and strange noises into pure entertainment. 🤣 So, get ready to smile, giggle, and share some lighthearted vibes while navigating the world of medical imaging! 📸✨

New funny scan quotes 👇

All funny scan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

61 shares on Slack this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

11 out of 10 women are always right.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Making waves on Threads:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Spotted on Discord:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Trending via WeChat:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Making waves on YouTube:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

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