Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: “Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Commentary:
"Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet… sounds like a real whirlwind of a story! 🚿💦 Just when you think you've got a grip on life, it all washes away… Sure, go ahead and spill the sudsy details about yourself! 🤣🛁 #ShowerThoughts"
6 months ago
Share →: Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Commentary:
"Note to self: Prioritize insults AFTER the call ends. Because a missed opportunity is worse than a burned bridge! 📞😜 #PhoneEtiquette"
6 months ago
Share →: A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Commentary:
"Introducing Hinder: where swiping left on potential matches is just the beginning of your love life obstacles! 🙅‍♂️ Stay tuned for dates canceled last minute, mixed signals galore, and emotional rollercoasters! 🎢 Who needs a smooth sailing romance anyway, am I right? 😉 #SelfSabotageGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Commentary:
"Are you a plastic wrap wizard or a cling film klutz? 🤔 Channel your inner Martha Stewart with each unruly sheet! 💁‍♂️✨ Let your kitchen skills shine through the notorious plastic wrap battle! 🌟🍴 #MasterOfWrap #KitchenConfessions"
6 months ago
Share →: World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Commentary:
"World domination? 🌍 Nah, I can barely handle adulting for myself! 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until someone asks me to take over the world! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Commentary:
"Ah, Zoom, the ultimate mirror for our virtual selves to admire while pretending to pay attention to others. 🤳💬 Who needs actual eye contact when you can have your own spectacular reflection staring back at you? 😂 #ZoomLife"
6 months ago
Share →: “I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of present-you leaving a mess for future-you to deal with! 🕰️🤦‍♂️ Don't worry, future-you is probably off somewhere brewing up a master plan for revenge… 🤨💥 Better watch your back! 🤣👀
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare talent of impressing oneself with embarrassing moments – a true mastery of self-surprise 😳👏 Who knew embarrassment could be so impressive? Keep setting the bar high, even if it's with blush-inducing remarks! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Commentary:
Looks like even you can't handle your own high standards, huh? 🤷‍♂️ Who knew dating yourself could be so complicated? Maybe it's time to treat yourself to a night out to rekindle the romance with… yourself 😂💔 #SoloDateNight
6 months ago
Share →: I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Commentary:
"Sorry folks, no Hollywood action hero here! 🎬🚫 I may be a daredevil in my own way, but tripping over my own feet is definitely not part of the script! 😂🎥 #AccidentalStunts"