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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Spotted on Twitch:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Spotted on Instagram:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Trending via Messenger:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Broadcasted on Threads:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Funny shopping experience quotes

Funny shopping experience quotes are the perfect way to capture those hilarious moments we all face while hunting for the best deals 🛍️😂 From unexpected finds to checkout surprises, these witty lines make retail therapy even more entertaining 🛒✨ Whether you’re a bargain hunter or a spontaneous splurger, get ready to laugh out loud and relate to the quirky side of shopping adventures! 🎉👛💸

New funny shopping experience quotes 👇

All funny shopping experience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Just shared via Messenger:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Spotted on Messenger:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Just landed via Twitch:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

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