Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Spotted on Instagram:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Spotted on Facebook:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Spotted on Facebook:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Live now on YouTube:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Going viral on X:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Funny sobriety quotes

Funny sobriety quotes bring humor and lightness to the journey of staying sober 🎉✨ Whether you’re celebrating milestones or just need a smile on a tough day, these witty gems remind us that laughter truly is the best medicine 😂💪 Raise your glass of sparkling water and get ready to giggle your way through sobriety! 🥤😄

New funny sobriety quotes 👇

All funny sobriety quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

88 shares on Discord this month:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

17 shares on X this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Just landed via Instagram:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Seen just now on Threads:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Making waves on Instagram:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Making waves on Twitch:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Going viral on Telegram:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Trending via Snapchat:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Just shared via Threads:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

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