Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Just landed via Slack:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Going viral on Discord:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going bananas on Reddit:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Just shared via WeChat:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Funny unhealthy quotes

Funny unhealthy quotes bring a hilarious twist to those guilty pleasures 🍕🍩 and lazy days 🛋️. Perfect for anyone who loves to laugh at their snack attacks and fitness fails, these witty lines turn indulgence into a comedy show 🎭. Ready to embrace the lighter side of unhealthy habits? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on all things deliciously bad for you! 😂🔥

New funny unhealthy quotes 👇

All funny unhealthy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on YouTube this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being awake is the worst.

Trending via Snapchat:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Going viral on X:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Breaking via Threads:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Breaking via Messenger:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

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