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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Going viral on Slack:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Just landed via Reddit:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Just shared via TikTok:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Just shared via Slack:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Just landed via TikTok:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Home » Funny Unhealthy Quotes

Funny unhealthy quotes

Funny unhealthy quotes bring a hilarious twist to those guilty pleasures 🍕🍩 and lazy days 🛋️. Perfect for anyone who loves to laugh at their snack attacks and fitness fails, these witty lines turn indulgence into a comedy show 🎭. Ready to embrace the lighter side of unhealthy habits? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on all things deliciously bad for you! 😂🔥

New funny unhealthy quotes 👇

For even more funny unhealthy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unhealthy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Making waves on Threads:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Spotted on Discord:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Spotted on Reddit:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

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