Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs dumbbells when you have the sheer willpower to defy gravity and pry yourself from the cozy clutches of your bed every morning? 💪😴 #BedToBeast #MorningStruggles"

bed, count, exercise, fitness, getting, humor, laziness, motivation, resistance, should, training

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

87 shares on X this month:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Just shared via Pinterest:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Going bananas on Slack:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Just landed via Threads:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Just shared via Discord:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Going viral on Telegram:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨