Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"God creating the duck: 'Why have a boring chicken when you can have a waterproof feathered musician?' 🦆🎷 #QuirkyCreation #GodsSenseOfHumor"

animals, chicken, creation, duck, give, God, humor, kazoo, waterproof

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

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2 months ago

dollars, floor, food, great, having, humor, i, kids, little, love, money, parenting, spending, trash, week
When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

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2 months ago

attraction, bleh, chemistry, else, everyone, feelings, feels, intense, relationship, someone
I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

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2 months ago

deadline, die, finish, humor, i, life, motivation, never, procrastination, specific, task
I’ve been blocked by better.

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2 months ago

better, block, blocked, humor, sarcasm, self-deprecation, witty
In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

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2 months ago

bake, cooking, expectations, future, generations, grandma, humor, stereotypes, tattoo
Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

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2 months ago

awareness, brain, brain damage, damage, excessive, humor, irony, know, me, sarcasm, screen, screen time, shows, study, technology, time, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Discord this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

23 shares on Discord this month:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

47 shares on Slack this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Just shared via Twitch:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Just landed via Discord:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Just shared via Threads:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Just shared via Telegram:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Shared recently on Discord:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Just shared via Slack:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

I’ve been blocked by better.

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨